SO I guess from the begining?

Wow! I am offically half way through my pregnancy, and hoenstly I didn't think at first I would of made it this far! Wait..let me start from the begining, umm from the WAY begining. Not when I was born, but around 5 months ago when I was content with the way my life was going...

October 2009- Well I just found out that I had been chosen to get a new job as a temp at Metlife. Finally, away from Dunkin Donuts and the stress and excess coffee. Finally a job that I was proud to say, "Hey I work there!" and love going to everyday. It was time for change and I loved every minute of it. Alex and I had FINALLY started saving money for our wedding and started planning it! It seemed like everything was falling into place. (Oh Alex is my fiance and we have been together now for 3 years and engaged for 2! I will talk more about him as I continue)

November 2009-Alex and his family went away for the first 2 weeks of Novemeber to Florida to see family members. I stayed behind and caught up with work and enjoyed some alone time. Ok so not really! I was compleltly miserable without him and sulked at home everynight until he came home. Well, when Alex came home November 16th I had no idea in a few weeks my life was going to change! He got home we went for a drive and got something to eat. I remember telling him how much I loved and missed him and from this moment on, don't leave me by myself! (Of course I was kidding) The night progressed and one thing led to another and bam! we did umm stuff. It ended up being a reaccourance that entire week.

So we enjoyed being together, planning the wedding and finally going out and having a great time!

December 2009- I spotted the entire first 2 weeks which is weird, because I either get my period or I don't. (apparently it is completely normal for a woman to miss her periods!? Whatever) Well, on December 5th (which was a monday) I was so pissed because my period had come, then went away, spotted for a few days, then went away. I finally broke down and bought 3 pregnancy tests. I was convinced that I couldn't be pregnant and maybe my body was trying to syncronize finallyn but bought the tests anyway.
I remember on my lunch I took a test. I peed on the stick placed it face down, and continued with my business. After I was done, I looked back at the test and remember a sinking feeling in my stomach as 2 faintly pink line stared back up at me. I couldn't believe it! Why now? Why when we were planning our wedding and finally getting finacially sound that a baby was in our future? What the hell was I going to do? I still lived at home, and as did Alex. We didn;t have money or a place or anything for a baby! Things looked grim.

I finally text Alex at work. I tell him "O.M.G it's positive" (earlier I has texted him that I had gotten my period and I was going to take a test) he responded with.. what is positive? So I told him the pee stick had 2 pink lines, but I was going to take more to make sure. He I guess freaked out at work and had to go home early. I told him just to wait and relax and to come over later that night to discuss anything.

So within the next following weeks I did a blood test to confirm and made my first prenatal appointment.

When I showed up for my first visit, it was like hell! I was poked and prodded and was asked crazy questions. "How many pregnancy tests did you take? Did you know you were pregant" Um no and yes I guess. ::sigh:: My head was killing me!

Alex was the exam room with me holding my hand as I had my first ultrasound done. They estimated me at 9weeks and 3 days and my due date was August 17th. And I laughed because there is no way in hell those charts and wheels are accurate. My period is 30 something days apart and luteal phase is like 15-16 days sometimes. Well I choked when I saw the flicker of a heartbeat and saw that my baby was 9 weeks and 4 days old and resembled a kidney bean. All this time here I thought it was a tumor or a molar pregnancy. Alex mumbled "Look baby, we made that. That is OUR baby"

And that's how it began. This adventure that I am in. This whirlwind called life. I still can't believe that I have a baby growing inside me and that a life is counting on me to survive. Crazy-ness! Today I am 20 weeks and 3 days, half way through my pregnancy. Somedays I wait for the other shoe to drop and think that I don't deserve to carry a life, but, there are those days when I wake up and smile because in a few months I will be looking into the eyes of my daughter whom I will love and cherish.