Life with a toddler

Toddler years. The time where a child realizes "hey! Wait a sec, I'm my own person!?!) And takes you for a ride..

As a mom, I now know what love is, but, now I know what life is. Life with a toddler is hard. To me it consists of scanning, cooking, yelling, crying...running, chasing... its all way to much at times.

Maegan, is like all toddlers; rambunctious. She will throw a fit in the grocery line, yell at the top of her lungs to make sure I hear her clearly, push food away because she doesn't like it (even though she ate it yesterday), try to dress herself, undress herself, climb furniture like she is on an expedition... Toddler behavior.

My little girl will be 26 months on 10/11/12, but has an attitude of a 15 year old. Nothing I do is right, however, I know I'm doing it right when she says "Aww I wuv you mommy, I like you. You Maegans buddy" I can't be doing everything wrong. She is a smart, beautiful intelligent little lady. She can count to 10, knows her ABC's, and colors. She eats practically by herself, and opens the fridge to get her milk when she's thirsty. It's quite.comical to watch.

Two years ago was the hardest part of parenting now that I look back. I didn't sleep, and I felt contained. Life with a toddler is hard, but its joyous in the same respect. She's able to have freedom, and we have conversations now. We read stories, color and watch some cartoons together. In all honesty, I kind of feel like a pro.

Now what?

This has been one wild ride!

Maegan is now 8 weeks old. She lifts her head and turns it side to side. She giggles, coos and laughs. She is the apple of my eye. However there are times where I feel like I can't do this. It may just be a first time mom thing, but I freak out when she cries and I can't meet her needs.

She is 12lbs 2 ounces at 24 1/2 inches long! She no longer fits into 0-3 clothes, so I had to go out and by brand new 3-6 month clothes!

A year ago...

One year ago today, I was sitting on my toilet with my head in my hands. Empty boxes surronded the toilet, and pregnancy sticks cluttered the kitched sink. The pain in my gut, not from morning sickness, but from doubt in myself and taking care of someone. I could barely take care of myself. I was living in fast forward, going 100mph with no stop button. Careless was a way to put it. Why now!? How was it possible that I could be pregnant? I fantham together a sequence of events to try to make sense. Nothing. I sat there for an hour starring, worrying, crying...what was I going to do? I was in no shape, or form for a baby.

It seemed like a whirlwind the next few weeks. Alex was already mad at me, and refused to talk to me for a few days. I felt so alone. I finally mustered up the courage to speak to my mom. I peed on one more test; I had taken 5 tests, 2 digital and 3 EPT. So I showed her the faint pink lines, and she laughed. Laughing!? "Are you kidding me? Do you think this a joke?" I shouted. Then began a conversation of protection, talks since I was little, etc. So she told my dad and from there only a few select people knew. I didnt want to get judged, because I wasnt married to the man I had been dating for 3 years at the time, nor had we had our own place.

I think in all reality, it was time. I had no real sense of responsibility, and I think it was Gods way of showing me something that I needed. I know I talk about it a lot but I strongly believe that Maegan was brought here on purpose. My little girl, MY LITTLE GIRL. It is still something to get used to; I have a daughter. She is the most gorgeous creature I have ever seen, Perfection.